Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in Rick Carkin's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, August 19th, 2003
3:23 pm	BORED ! ! ! All caught up with nothing to do. SO make a LJ entry- right? Shivi better bring pictures to the first YRUU night. Sounds like a kick ass time. I'm now stranded and have to use Gary's car. Poor Gertrude (my truck) just couldn't handle all the roots up at Greenfield. She blew a torsion bar. It's some thingy in the front of the truck that helps give her bounce. Poor thing, she's all droopy to the left side like a 50yo woman broken left bra strap. Taking her to see the car Dr. in the morning. This sucks, hate being without my own wheels. Gary just called, gonna call it a day and go home and pick him up for his afternoon ritual of coffee and a drive. Pick up a dunkins and then drive all over derry, londonderry or where ever the nose leads. He does it every day, it helps him to wake up and also relaxes him at the same time. That man just likes to drive. He wants to do a Grizwald trip across country. I'll go out of my mind, but for him.... I'll do it. Love that guy!!! Much Love to all... R Current Mood: bored Current Music: A/C fan...... no music (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 14th, 2003
11:54 am	I found my desk!!! The piles have been organized and put away. I'm ready for my weekly payables meeting. Feels good to be caught up. Took a few minutes to catch up on the latest posts. We have a new long distance runner in our group. Maybe we should pit her against Matt Dit.??? (I don't think the incentive would be the same) Time to take some lunch.. Catch you all later... Current Mood: relieved (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 13th, 2003
4:02 pm	My Pic OK, I finally figured out how to load a pic. Yes, that is Rick at 5 months. I'm working on a special picture quilt for my parents 40th. (Comment on this)
3:49 pm	After Camping What an amazing weekend. YRUU Camping weekend is one of the biggest highlights of my year. THANKS GUYS!! I had a blast. It was amazing to watch you guys in action. You can tell that you all had a year of bonding under your belts. The love was flowing all over the site oozing under everyone's tents, soaking everyone's sleeping bag.. oh wait!! that was the rain. Never mind Did anyone manage to get in touch with the newbies? Looks like we have some quality additions to the group. Are any of them on LJ? I'm at work right now and need to find my desk. It's under 3 days of paperwork. Loving you all VERY MUCH!!!!! Rick Current Mood: content Current Music: Yanni (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 12th, 2003
5:30 pm	Now Live at Home I now have this set up at home. I will try to keep up.. Rick Current Mood: chipper (2 Comments |Comment on this)
12:59 pm	OK - Since I was already here I went ahead and read the last 20 odd posts. I think it went up to just before the Coffee House. Which did kick major ass. You guys are the balls. Are there any other YRUU members on live journal that I should add to my friends list? Let me know guys. Much Much Love to you all.... Current Mood: busy (7 Comments |Comment on this)
12:37 pm	Thank Sarah Haven't been in her since last September. SHAME on me. I'm having a very busy day here at work. (it's our season) Have to get back and wrap things up. I expect to have a light day tomorrow so maybe I can get into your posts and read them all. Is there anyone new from our group that I need to add? Love ya all.... Rick (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 17th, 2002
2:54 pm	Don't give me any shit now!!!! I know I don't get in here as often as I should. Forgive me.. I also have a headache right now. It actually hurts to look at the screen. One thing to say... Sarah, Lizabeth, Wendy, Alex - I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! (you too Mel, but you knew that) I don't think I noticed any one else from the group in here. Is Jay on here? When, I hit the "Friends" button I'm suddenly overwhelmed with pages after pages of stuff. Some of it exciting, some of it every day living, other things make me feel helpless. Hope you are feeling better Sarah. Lizabeth??? you OK sweety? Eventually I'll master the art of just opening this up (daily) putting some feelings down and then turning it off. But not yet. YRUU Sunday night was fun and draining at the same time. I'm so glad Melissa was there. When Sue called to say she wasn't able to make it I was so cool with her on the phone. "We'll be just fine" I hung up the phone and was hit with this wall of panic. 20 youth, one Rick, one Melissa who is just starting. YYYYIIIIKKKEESS! I should have known it would be just fine. Melissa has parenting under her belt, and those skills are worth their waite in gold. Something I'll never have. Mel can also be so cool and collected. I feel like I'm running in circles. I even snapped at Mary that night (which I opologized for later) A couple more weeks and the idea of handling twice as many youth will be old news. Who knows, by the end of the season we'll be needing two camp sites to hold 40 youth. Wouldn't that be sweet???? I have rehearsal tonight. I love singing with those guys. They are yet another family for me. Men who love men and singing. They can be so bad sometimes. You think the jokes are bad at YRUU meetings? These guys are nothing short of animals and I love it. But the Gay men and music goes deeper than that. When I look back to high school. Music was my whole world. If it wasn't for the music and drama departments I would have surely ended my life. As many of you know, some teens can be ruthless. I was signaled out as gay and the razzing, pranks and beatings just never ended. (Until my senior year) Music was my escape. You guys have no idea what it means to me PERSONALLY when you stand up for gay rights and gay issues. Thank you! From the bottom of my heart. OK, enough rants for one afternoon. Much Love and Light to all..... Current Mood: awake Current Music: Enya, a day without rain (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 13th, 2002
8:59 am	I'm Crying.... I just finished reading your entries about the weekend. I'm sitting here in my office and balling my eyes out. The damn phone keeps ringing. It's impossible to talk when you need to blow your nose. What an amazing weekend. I'm still tired. I hurt from carrying water. Damn things are heavy. My sun burn is reminding me it's here with a very mild sting. I returned home to find a huge bundle of flowers sitting on the kitchen island with a note. "Welcome home, I missed you". If that didn't pull the emotional plug on a damn of tears that was already weak. Combine your live journal entries with the notes I found in my mail bag and it was totally worth all the work. Goddess was smiling on me when Sandra asked me to be an adviser. I instantly had a family of youth I could call my own and I gained three wonderful best friends...... Melissa, Sue and Sandra... (We'll be adding Chris that that mix REAL SOON) When I got home I pealed Gary's ears to the floor about the entire weekend. He sat there smiling and listening, asking questions and about 2 hours later he then said. "I hope they appreciate all the work you put in." I said. Here's the pay off. I handed him the notes that showed up in my bag. (And I didn't even want to make one) I let him read them all. I even got one from Brandon. Total shock on that one. There were many notes of thanks. Many hugs, kisses and smiles. And to be told to "get out of the kitchen bitch"... Made my weekend. Warm thoughts... Fire side poetry, guitar strings, bitch, just kidding, ha ha ha ha.... Candle lit worships, black feet, star lit nights, laughter, hugs, LOVE!!! So, again next year? I don't think there is any question about it. Give me a date..... I'll book it now! Current Mood: drained Current Music: Enya (Comment on this)
8:59 am	I'm Crying.... I just finished reading your entries about the weekend. I'm sitting here in my office and balling my eyes out. The damn phone keeps ringing. It's impossible to talk when you need to blow your nose. What an amazing weekend. I'm still tired. I hurt from carrying water. Damn things are heavy. My sun burn is reminding me it's here with a very mild sting. I returned home to find a huge bundle of flowers sitting on the kitchen island with a note. "Welcome home, I missed you". If that didn't pull the emotional plug on a damn of tears that was already weak. Combine your live journal entries with the notes I found in my mail bag and it was totally worth all the work. Goddess was smiling on me when Sandra asked me to be an adviser. I instantly had a family of youth I could call my own and I gained three wonderful best friends...... Melissa, Sue and Sandra... (We'll be adding Chris that that mix REAL SOON) When I got home I pealed Gary's ears to the floor about the entire weekend. He sat there smiling and listening, asking questions and about 2 hours later he then said. "I hope they appreciate all the work you put in." I said. Here's the pay off. I handed him the notes that showed up in my bag. (And I didn't even want to make one) I let him read them all. I even got one from Brandon. Total shock on that one. There were many notes of thanks. Many hugs, kisses and smiles. And to be told to "get out of the kitchen bitch"... Made my weekend. Warm thoughts... Fire side poetry, guitar strings, bitch, just kidding, ha ha ha ha.... Candle lit worships, black feet, star lit nights, laughter, hugs, LOVE!!! So, again next year? I don't think there is any question about it. Give me a date..... I'll book it now! Current Mood: drained Current Music: Enya (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 1st, 2002
4:49 pm	Catching Up I never get a chance to do any computer work at home in the evening or over the weekend. Saturday - the day began with me rolling out of bed to take a shower. Gary and I didn't get home from the movies until after midnight. I needed to be at Beth's house by 10 am and Gary hates to get out of bed (when he doesn't have to) before then. Yikes. It went ok. I showered and made him a wonderful breakfast. Then we hit the road to pick up Beth to go to the Vermont Quilt Festival. That was a lot of fun. Poor Gary, he is such a sweet man. I'm sure anything to do with quilting bores the shit out of him. It's the same for me when we visit the music store and he spends all that time wondering around the opera section. (yuck) But he drove the 2 hours out to the Festival. It was wonderful and overwhelming at the same time. Hundreds of quilts and dozens of vendors.. SHOPPING!!!! We were home at like 6:30 and then connected with Melissa to go out club'in. Haven't done that in ages. Danced our asses off. I was drenched when we left the club. Man, I love to dance. Sunday - I drank like 5 beers Sat night and with the trip to VT and all the dancing I did the night before, I was dead to the world. I rolled out of bed at 11am. So not like me. I'm usually out of be by 8am the LATEST on weekends. Went to a drumming thing with Pearl Sunday night. Left at 4:30 and was home last night at 11pm. It was in Plymouth NH. What is it with this long distance shit this weekend. I HATE anything over an hour away. What a busy weekend. It was so much fun at the drumming. My hands were swollen and red. I touched Gary's face with them when I got home. They were red hot. I think he had his fill of quilts the drumming was over the top. He stayed home and vegged... lol what a love. OK. Time to wrap up my desk, lock up and blow this joint. Wonder what Gary and I will do tonight. I doubt I can talk him into the gym. Man, we need to get back into that. Current Mood: exhausted (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 25th, 2002
2:12 pm	I'm Learning I just spent the past hour trying to figure this shit out. I'm picking it up. I've added all those who responded to my first entry as "friends". After added them when I clicked on "your friends" I now have entries that they have made over the past couple of days. OMG.. The reading. I'm a very slow reader to begin with, so you can imagine how long that took for me. Not to mention that english, in general, is my most lacking skill. Many of you seem down or depressed. That concerns me... but that concern will just stay here on this page. When I look back to when I was 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what the fuck my life was about. Why my father was such an asshole and why my mother didn't put his lights out. I sometimes take a step backwards and feel those same feelings in regards to the "rents". You will get tired of hearing it but it does get better. All this shit you feel now will someday make sense. Something I learned to late in highschool was "fuck'em all". In my senior year I decided to stop worring about what everyone might think about me and just did what ever I wanted to do. Ya, there were the rough necks and assholes that got a kick out of picking on the skinny fagot. (yes skinny, I didn't break a 100 lbs until I was like 18 years old) I spent so much of my time avoiding conflict that I never could enjoy myself. When I finally had my first "fight". I was in a place where I couldn't run. I had to take it. I ended up with a fat lip but that SOB ended up with a bloody face. Never accost a fag when he's holding his flute. I realised then that during the fight. You don't even feel it. If someone is going to hurt you... Make sure he/she is walking away with as much, if not more, damage. Man, should I even be telling you guys this??? Today, as an adult and long before the wiccan faith found me, I stop to think if my actions will hurt anyone needlessly. I do what ever makes me happy but only if it won't hurt anyone AND the situation isn't hurting me. ie: a bad relationship. OK, I've spilled the guts here. Maybe later today I'll make an entry on what I've done today. I'll do my best to log in daily, but no promises. Much Love.... Rick (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 20th, 2002
9:33 am	1st Entry Since half the youth in my group use this I thought it was a good idea that I join. I have no idea how any of this stuff works.... yet... but I'll figure it out. Thanks Guys (14 Comments |Comment on this)